Money Drunk, Money Sober; 90 Days to Financial Freedom by Mark Bryan & Julia Cameron

Author:Mark Bryan & Julia Cameron [Bryan, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Business
ISBN: 9780345432650
Publisher: Wellspring/Ballantine
Published: 1999-02-09T05:00:00+00:00

ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY

For many a Cash Co-Dependent, the clarity to seek help is hard to find. There is quite a payoff in being the long-suffering loyal supporter of a beleaguered "bad luck" Spouse. (We can blame all our misfortunes on him or her, and not have to take responsibility ourselves.) Then, too, there is the fact that the money addiction itself keeps us off center.

All money drunks have periods of seeming stability during which the Cash Co-Dependent is lulled into re-entering denial "This time will be different," we say mistaking the calm between storms for a real change in climate. We believe what we want to believe.

Of course we do. . . .

For the Cash Co-Dependent, her mate's money-related mood swings constitute a brutal treadmill. If he's a Big Deal Chaser, then, cash in hand, he's a great guy. Broke, he's miserable to live with. If he's a Poverty Addict, his refusal to enjoy life can leave the marriage dull and listless. If he's a Maintenance Money Drunk, she will get tired of hearing the same old woes.

Like alcoholics deprived of liquor, money drunks down on their luck are hard people to handle. Blame and self-pity enter the air and hover like a chill cloud. Money drunks like to blame others for their troubles and lament their bad luck.

"I don't need you or your money," "you or your bullying," "you or your outside activities," the money drunk snaps when his or her actions are questioned. Such protestations do little to reassure.

As Cash Co-Dependents, we may need to keep a very close eye on the little ways we learn to manipulate those around us. All too often we find that we use treats as tiny bribes. After a fight, we may buy a little something to soothe troubled waters. We may trick them into coming outdoors, or taking a new class for their own good. Actions like these are like offering an alcoholic a beer to nurse a hangover; they start the whole cycle over again.

Instead of the self-worth we get by taking care of ourselves appropriately, we get the quick fix of self-worth from helping others to feel dependent on us.

"Is he after my money?" the Cash Co-Dependent starts to wonder, counting back over the loans, the joint ventures to cheer him or her up and onward.

Leigh is 60 yean old and lives on Social Security and $400 a month from her divorce settlement after 28 yean of marriage. Recently an inheritance from her mother's death gave her a sum of $28,000 in cash. It was enough to buy a car and make a down payment on a modest place to live. Soon, the trust would begin to pay her $1,000 a month and it looked as though Leigh, a woman who had worked hard all her life, was finally going to have a place of her own.

Then Leigh's son William called from Texas. William is 32 yean old, has never had a dime in savings, and continues to treat his parents like a loan organization.

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